Way back when I posted a series of blogs in which I stated I would provide a tell-all to you explaining what all I went through over the last year. Well, I was on one of my message boards the other day and found an interesting post and my response ended up kinda scratching the surface of some of the things I wanted to put up on here. Since I’m lazy, and since it kinda sums everything up, maybe I’ll start with that?
Anyways, below is my response to a post from another member who was writing about how his life has become depressingly boring from his state of normalcy. Here was my contribution:
Wow I know exactly how you feel man. I’m pretty sure it’s a common thing though. I just recently took a job (after not having one for about a year and a half) and am already starting to get that familiar feeling I’ve had at my past two jobs. Although I’ve only had three jobs my whole life, they have all been pretty up there (Army Corps of Engineers, IT Manager for a $64 million company, and now working for the IT department at my University).In my opinion it has to do with the routine we develop in our lives as working individuals. Monday to Friday, waking up at the same time, getting off work (too tired to do anything) and then having pretty much just the weekends, which we often (after a week of stress and less sleep) lose interest in doing other things. I found a website that might offer some better info: http://www.depression-help-for-you.com/job-burnout.htmlHowever, when I start feeling this way, I remember what happened over the last year and a half of my life. I’m not going to go into any details, but lets just say I had a lot of time and money on my hands, and I pretty much just fucked up my life (in various ways). It’s odd because being out there living life “on the fly” actually lead to a worse situation where I lost all of my passions and just became a dull waste of existence. (Iceman I agree wholeheartedly with you about the lapses and how much it hurts not having any security to fall back on).
Like Iceman, I was also lucky. I was able to look (just before it was too late) at my life in both perspective and realize that you need a little bit of both. From there I started to dig myself out. Now that I’m back on my feet, and although this routine seems dull and repetitive, I know that at least I have opportunities in front of me. I’ve developed a state of normalcy again, and I can financially support the things I want to do. Another great thing I’ve regained is an appreciation of time off. I spend my weekends actually doing things. I’m also more motivated to pursue personal projects when I have free time (like recording music, something I hadn’t done in over a year). Funny how all this ties in, but “Fighting Back Yesterday” is actually about this very thing. I’ve fought so much back… They can’t see my self-fought victories… I think I’m finally on my way. It took a really bad downfall in my life to appreciate being in a simple on-your-feet state of normalcy, and I’m not going to let that go to waste.
It’s all in perspective man, but I think you are letting the burnout prevent you from taking advantages of what a stable lifestyle provides. Staying busy gives you less time to think. While a stable lifestyle may often seem boring, remember that it can be a lot worse than just boring.
Oh, also, I find that making yourself get outdoors at least a few times a month can be extremely rejuvenating (I like fishing).
|
So yeah… after well over a year, I finally wrote and recorded a new song. Here are the lyrics and the link for Fighting Back Yesterday:
Fighting Back Yesterday
Fighting Back Yesterday (MySpace)
Jeff Wichman
8/24/2006
just another day
everything is against me
turn and look away
turn and look away
found my way back home
seems im coming home alone
just like yesterday
just like yesterday
she say’s im not buying that
you need to put the past away
I said im not looking back
it seems it just keeps haunting me
wake into my own
world where poisons fill my soul
got the best of me
got the best of me
still i carry on
cause the light still flickers low
like the rest of me
like the rest of me
she says I can’t live with that
your daemons can’t tarnish your days
I said ive fought so much back
im sorry that you feel that way
they can’t see my self-fought victories
they can’t see my self-fought victories
I said im not really sure
but i think I’m finally on my way
Until next time,
“This could be the best day of your life.” - Our Lady Peace
