Before I continue, [ start downloading this right now. ] I’ll get into it later, just [ start downloading. ]

So I’ve got a lot coming up in the next few weeks. This weekend Alison is taking me to see [ Straylight Run ] with Something Corporate in Jacksonville. Then, Cail and I go into the studio next Friday (February 4th) to record our 8-song EP. Finally, my 21st birthday is less than 2 weeks away (February 8th) which is pretty cool huh. I’m one of those people who questions daily why we are here, how life works, why is passes so quickly, etc. 21 is kind of a big deal to me (not just because I can legally purchase one of my favorite substances on the earth) but because that’s kind of the end of what I think of as “youth.” I know a lot of you over 21 out there are going to say “that’s not the end of it at all,” but to me, it is. After 21, I’m just getting older. I guess I’m sort of in a minor quarter-life crisis. I’ve found a lot of relief in the following words (below.) Orginally this was a column written by Mary Schmidt to the Chicago Tribune. Baz Luhrnann took the column and made a song out of it (was a radio hit in the 90s) which I’m sure many of you might have heard. The radio song makes the words kind of cheesy at points, but regardless, it’s one of the most inspirational pieces of writing I have ever read, and I try to reflect upon it as much as possible. Please do yourself a favor and read it:

Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young
Mary Schmidt

Wear sunscreen.

- Mary Schmidt

I bolded some of the lines that strike me the most. To celebrate my upcoming birthday, I think it’s about time for another contest, so if you have any suggestions, feel free to post them. Abla was the winner of the [ “How Well do You Know Me” contest ] coming in with a score of 90/100. The two 100s were both second entries from the same person. Congrats Abla, you won anything on Ebay under $20.

So by now, [ that download ] should have finished. That’s a song performed live by [ Howie Day ] called “Ghost.” I’ve seen Howie Day peform live once and he is simply amazing. That song is entirely performed by Howie using a setup of loopers and effect pedals. It’s essentially one man, his voice, and an acoustic guitar. He has a looper for both his guitar and his vocals (and effects on both.) He has a device that makes his high E string sound like a flute (as you will hear in the beginning) and a device that makes his bottom E string an octave lower, giving it a bass sound. I really don’t have to say a lot about how incredible this song is because it really speaks for itself. Please do yourself a favor and give it a listen.

Well that’s about all for now.

“I can’t forget the smell of summer trees after midnight, bending backwards to please the wind.”- Third Eye Blind

Until next time,

Whats goin on? For those of you who don’t know me…you won’t know who I am. I wish to remain anonymous so that no one will know who Jeff is kinda “hanging out with” now. For those ladies out there…he is absolutely AMAZING…and I definately recommend him. Well I gotta go. Chow!

Couldn’t possibly cure the headache I’ve had the last couple of days. Work is kicking my ass. If work was the battle of Custard’s Last Stand, I would be General Custard standing among a pile of dead cigarette butts surrounded by a horde of savage co-workers waiting flail their mice at me. I’ve just been freakin swamped lately between the implementation of new software, the attempt to structure our new department, and the ongoing battle against my ingnorant infadels of low-level computer users.

Anyways, enough about work.

It’s official. Cail is coming to Savannah on February 5th and from there we will travel to an undisclosed location to begin recording of our 8 song EP. Cail hasn’t finalized his selection, but I have decided to record Please No, I’m Not Alright, Serotonin, and Enunciate. I’m not 100% sure on what Cail has in mind for his arrangement, but I know you are going to hear a schmorgasbord of instruments in some of my songs. I’m Not Alright will feature my Mirage GT with some nasty distortion as well as a trio of strings to accompany the bridge. I’ve got a lot of good ideas for these songs and I have confidence that they are going to turn out great. I guess you can consider this my first real step towards my dreams. We will use this EP to get our name out, shop clubs in Athens for gigs, and give to all you good ladies and gents on the internet.

I wish I had time to write more, but I gotta boogie.

“My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me. My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating” - Green Day

So yeah I’ll get to the movie reviews here in a bit.

So some big changes went on in my department at work, actually I didn’t have a department to begin with (an office “IT Department.”) Well apparantly we are forming one now and I’m going to be tasked with structuring it and supervising the implementation. I decided to not take classes this semester and just work full time (that way I can save up for Athens in the fall) and on top of all the crazy bullshit computer tasks I have to do every day, I’ve been tasked with this huge ordeal. I’m not complaining at all, I’m actually honored that they are letting me do it, and I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t getting a large increase in my paycheck. Needless to say, I’m going to be working 40-60 hours a week now. However, sometimes I stop for a second and think “holy shit, I’m 20 years old, what have I gotten myself into?” It’s not that I’m not qualified to do it, it’s just pretty overwhelming. Most people my age are either working part-time restaurant jobs and / or going to class on the side of all the partying they do. Strategically, and professionally, this is a really incredible opportunity for me (not many people my age get this kind of experience) but socially, I feel like I might be making a bad move.

Which brings me to another topic… I don’t know what has happened to my social life. I feel like I’m more distant from my friends then ever. It’s nothing in particular that they are doing, but I just feel like there are more important things for me to do or something, hell I don’t even think that’s it. I honestly don’t know what’s going on. Alison even told me that people were starting to notice, herself included, and the last thing in the world I want to do is to hurt Alison. My daily routine right now consists of struggling to get up, jumping in the shower, hauling ass to work, and from there it’s just a hurricane of events and work (the time goes by incredibly fast, instead of wanting 5:00 to come, I think “dammit it’s 3:00 and I still have this and this to do.) Then I go home and find myself too tired to really do anything but play video games or guitar. I don’t really hang out or go out in the weekdays anymore (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing) but even this past weekend I just felt really uninterested in going out. Normally I start making weekend plans Friday afternoon and look forward to the nights ahead, but now all I want to do is hang out around the house. It seems like not long ago, all I wanted was to meet girls and hook up with girls, maybe find a new relationship, but that is probably the last thing in the world on my mind right now. In that respect, I think I’m beginning to hurt the feelings of those who I was sort of talking to. I don’t know what to make of all this, right now I’m thinking “well in just 6 months I’m going to be in Athens and none of this will matter anyway, noone will care” -but is that the debasive thing to do? I used to not be able to stand the thought of someone not liking me (because I honestly think I’m a pure, genuine intellect,) but now it’s as if I’m more concerned about myself- and I hate selfish people… anyways, I’ll keep you posted on whether or not I find the source of this contigency.

Ah yes, the movies. We’ll start with The Manchurian Candidate.

I hate “scary” movies like The Ring or whatever you want to title the genre. I just don’t understand why people pay money to go feel uncomfortable. You don’t usually walk out of a really scary movie and go “that was awesome!” -you walk out saying “dude, that’s fucked up…” and feeling uncomfortable for a period of time. While [ The Manchurian Candidate ] is a fictional “scary” movie, it’s one that is somewhat believable. It’s an extremely fucked up, but thrilling trip through the eyes of Denzel Washington after his war experience in Desert Storm. I really can’t say much about this movie without giving it away, but Denzel has these dreams every night of the same thing, he’s in a battle, and then all of the sudden he gets knocked out and people are operating on him. Tubes are coming out of his head and his soldiers around him are all gored up and going crazy (with tubes in their heads.) I don’t want to say much else about the movie because the entire plot is a series of “wow, that’s why he” ..’s I would definately reccomend renting it. It’s kind of like a mix between a Tom Clancy novel and a Stephan King story.

I saved the best for last. Garden State

I really wanted to see this movie in theater, but I guess the movie itself slipped my mind and I had nearly forgotten about its existance until I saw the “coming soon” ad in Blockbuster. The movie was written and directed by and stars [ Zach Braff ], yeah the guy from Scrubs. Not to mention [ the most gorgeous woman in the world. ] Please Natalie, if you are reading this, marry me. My friend Patrick called me the night after he saw the movie and told me how awesome it was. His synopsis was “you’ll laugh your ass off, and you’ll cry.” Sounded like my kind of movie. To tell you the truth, Patrick was exactly right. This movie has some of the most original and hillarious humor I have seen in a long time, but at the same time it is an incredible plot that draws you in (much like Eternal Sunshine does.) Braff plays a young rising actor (how ironic) who has taken anti-depressants his whole life. He goes home for the first time in 9 years to attend his mother’s funeral. The entire 4 day period he is at home, he doesn’t take any medication. He hangs out with old friends, and meets a very cool, very interesting girl (Natalie Portman.) On top of the fact that I have always had a thing for Natalie Portman, she plays this totally cool-ass chick. I mean if I met a girl like that I would probably consider marrying her- just because her whole persona appeals to my more-choosey tastes. Anyways, the movie is kind of a journey through the town that Braff grew up in and I’m not going to give away any more of the plot. See this movie. It has been critically acclaimed as a candidate for best movie of 2004, and it was Braff’s first major acting production, not to mention he fucking wrote and directed it. Well done Mr. Braff, well done indeed.

“She takes a drink and then she waits.
The alcohol it permeates
and soon the cells give way.
It cancels out the day.” - Third Eye Blind

Until next time,

So I spent this weekend sleeping, playing video games, and watching movies. I purchased a few new games and rented some movies so I guess I can do a little review of each.

First I will cover the games (which probably concern most of you the least.

Men of Valor

Men of Valor is another Vietnam game that follows the life of a young (black) private as he enters the Vietnam war. I thought it was damn cool that they made the main character a young black man. I’m not a big person on racism or segregation because I think there are just too many other more important issues out there for us to even argue over these things. However, it was really good to see 2015 Studios do something different out there, seeing as how most of the games out there (based around a real human) are always through the eyes of a white guy. Anyways, for the most part, the graphics in the game are really good. My only beef is with the general game physics. You can shoot a M-79 grenade at a wooden tree and a brick wall, and both will have the same effect. Virtually nothing in the environment has any interaction whatsoever (unless it’s an animation from part of a cut-scene.) Same with the bullet effects. If you shoot dirt, concrete, or wood- you see the same effect and hear the same sounds. It’s almost like they ran out of money/time to produce the game and just had to keep moving without perfecting things they might have originally wanted. The voice acting is pretty aweful and tends to take away from the realism they are trying to portray -which is too bad because this seems to be one of the first Vietnam games that actually made me think “wow, this is the kind of thing these guys went through.” Needless to say, I’d say the game is worth the $20 price tag it dropped down to due to lack of moderate review scores.

Next game on the list, Joint Operations: Typhoon Rising.

This game’s marketing slogan was “The Battlefield Killer” -referring to Battlefield 1942, it’s numerous mods, and the thousands upon thousands of people playing the game (or one of it’s expansions) at any given moment. I was pretty skeptical that this could be true from a sales standpoint, but after reading a few reviews, flipping through some screenies, and watching a trailer or two, I figured the game itself had a pretty good chance of conquering Battlefield in my book. First of all, everything in the game is accurate. The names of vehicles, weapons, the sounds they make, their ranges, the models… you name it, and it’s probably true. The game features dozens of weapons and a large selection of character models and model customization. You can play as a SEAL, Detla, Force Recon, SAS, GIGN, and a number of other SpecOps or terrorist military groups. I ran the game on my P4 3.0 1536MB PC3200 RAM, Radeon9800 Pro machine with full graphics at 1028X resolution, and it runs flawlessly. In fact, I haven’t seen a bit of lag yet, which is impressive seeing as how servers can hold up to 150 players at a time. I must say that this is quite possibly the best multiplayer “all-inclusive battlefield” game out there right now. There are just so many really cool features in the game that I can’t even list them all, but I will try.

The levels are freaking huge (you could spend probably 3-5 hours walking a circle around most of the maps.)
Camo actually works (so do ghillie suits.)
The scopes and sights look incredibly realistic.
The weapons engine feels natural and realistic.
The vehicles all drive easily and well (unlike Battlefield.)
The environment changes during the game (the sun actually sets.)
A soldier can do rolls on the ground as well as jump into a prone position.
There is an incredible amount of room for organized tactics (that will actually work.)
The animations (explosions, etc) are beautiful.
You can actually move around in vehicles (like a Blackhawk) rather than being forced into a seat or gunner position (which are available if you choose.)

The list could go on and on, but let me just describe the last little experience of mine I had a few hours ago before I finish off this review. It was a jungle mission and I decided I would make use of my ghillie suit (the thing that makes a soldier look like “Swamp Thing.” pick up a .30 Cal Sniper rifle, hop in a “Little Bird” chopper and get dropped off on the back of a hill behind enemy lines. I found the base (which to the naked eye must have been a few thousand yards away, a vehicle that was clear as day through the scope was invisible to the naked eye.) I found a nice clump of bushes that offered enough cover to where they wouldn’t know what was hitting them. By the time I hit the ground and set up my bipod, a friendly Blackhawk full of men passed over me only to be assaulted by a barrage of anti-aircraft fire. I had to do something about it. My first three shots arrived in the skulls of 3 enemy players manning vehicle-mounted machine guns. Then I saw a guy running for a newly-spawned HIND hellicopter, I put my crosshairs a few centimeters in front of his lead and pulled the trigger. I missed the second time and I could see the poof of dirt hit right in front of his feet. Aparrantly he did too because he stopped dead in his tracks and changed directions. Unfortunately he wasn’t quick enough because my second round went through his chest. I continued picking off guys (which looks very realistic by the way, the ragdoll phyics change based on whether they are running, sitting on a vehicle, next to a balcony, etc) until I had expended all of my ammo. I hadn’t carried a sidearm because I wanted to be as lightweight as possible to increase my speed and agility. So I figured, what the hell. I took out my knife and crawled my way up to the base. I found a creek that provided enough cover from anyone who wasn’t paying attention directily to the creek (was a deep trench.) I finally made my way into the enemy base and found a convienently-located truck-mounted Mark10 grenade launcher. After I had taken out 2 helicopters, about 7 foot soldiers, and 2 moving jeeps, the bad guys realized where I was and that was the end of that life.

Didn’t mean to spend that long on that story, but for any of you gamers out there, you can get the idea of how “into” the game you can get. I wholeheartedly reccomend this game for anyone out there who enjoys multiplayer first person shooters.

Now in attempt to convince all of the lady readers out there that I’m not a complete geek, I will go over the movies I saw this weekend- Garden State and The Manchurian Candidate, tomorrow.

Sorry but I just realized I need to get back to the lines. Wow I’m a nerd.

“Somebody woke me before I could have my American dream.” - Better Than Ezra

Until next time,

So yeah, I’m still sick. It’s been about 15 days now. I started out with a simple sinus infection / cold, and after feeling better for a couple days it relapsed and now it appears I have bronchitus that’s threatening to flare into pneumonia. So I’m sorry for the lack of posts especially around the holiday season when you’d probably expect them.

I find it really hard to “celebrate” this holiday season when in the back of my head I keep trying to comprehend how exactly over 150,000 people can perish in under a day’s period of time. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you account for a large percentage of the people I know who had [ no fucking idea what happened. ] This is without a doubt the largest natural tragedy my generation has witnessed. Usually it takes an act of war to kill that many people. My heart goes out to the thousands of people who lost families, loved ones, homes, and God knows what else.

On a brighter note, thanks to all who donated to the [ Child’s Play Charity]. Just based upon the reciepts I got, you guys alone raised over $500 in donations (and that doesn’t include the people who didn’t send in their reciepts to me. Those of you who did, your cd’s should arrive within the next week or two.

So other than being sick and having to watch one of the world’s largest natural disasters on CNN, how did my holidays go? I’d say pretty okay. A couple of my buddies in the Marines we able to make it home for a couple of weeks and it was really good to see them. I also was able to see a lot of my old friends who were coming in town to visit family, and of course it was really good to spend some time with my own family. I spent New Years with a lot of my friends out on Tybee Island throwing it down. I wish I wouldn’t have thrown so much alcohol down because I felt like absolute hell the next day (between my illness and my hangover.) I finally got my new stereo and speakers installed and the music in my car is sounding incredible. Not to mention the [ new cd player ] is freaking sweet. It’s quite a change after having driven with only my crappy rear speakers working for about a year.

Anyways, sorry for 1. Not writing more and 2. Not writing anything interesting, but I feel like shit and I’m freakin swamped here at work.

“Three and a half minutes felt like a lifetime.” - Better Than Ezra

Until next time,